Monday, December 16, 2013

House of Leaves

Yes, this is what some of the pages look like.  By the time you get there, it makes sense.  Kind of.


Last week I devoured House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski. I finished it on Friday and was sad that it was over. Given the nature of the book, and how difficult some of the reading is, getting through it in a week means there was a lot of time just sitting reading (or code breaking, or what have you.) My continued reaction was, "How did this book come out 13 years ago and I never knew it existed until now?"

Then I started suspecting that it hadn't come out 13 years ago, that the copyright date was a lie, and that the fact that it was set in the 90's was just another clue to the true nature of the house. Then I looked it up online and figured that was wrong, but I couldn't shake the niggling doubt that everything on the internet was a vast conspiracy to convince me that the book hadn't just come out this year.

House of Leaves is the story of a slacker named Johnny Truant (maybe his real name, probably not) who finds a manuscript written by an old, blind guy named Zampano (who was a character in La Strada). The manuscript is a scholarly treatise about a movie called The Navidson Record which Zampano couldn't have seen (since he's blind) which is a found footage (although we're told the footage was taken and edited by Navidson, so it's not so much found as a more traditional documentary with lots of found footage within it) about a family who moves into a house that turns out to be... a gateway to somewhere else, with a minotaur.

Navidson is a Pulitzer prize-winning photojournalist and he's got a grant to record and follow his family as they move into and get settled in a new house in Virginia. His wife, Karen Green is a former supermodel, and they have two kids, Daisy and Chad. The first thing Navidson (or Navy, as in blue) notices is that the dimensions of the house don't match up. It's 1/4-inch bigger on the inside than on the outside. They go to visit relatives and come back to find a new hallway in their living room. It is ash gray, and featureless, and goes about ten feet in a direction that's impossible, because it's on an outside wall, and you can clearly see that there's not ten feet of house there from the outside.

Thus begins an exploration of a giant maze of featureless, lightless hallways that lead to a giant room with a giant stairway in the middle leading down. Navidson first contacts an engineering professor at the local university to help him measure his house, and eventually gets explorers (guys who climb Everest and such) to mount an expedition into the house and find whatever is inside.

Oh, and Johnny Truant goes through his own journey as he reads the manuscript, edits it to both restore parts that Zampano has tried to delete, and tells us about his own life. It's possible that Zampano never existed, and the whole thing is written by Johnny, or possibly Johnny doesn't exist and the whole thing is written by his mother, Pelafina (although if he doesn't exist, then she's not really his mother, is she?) All this is found in footnotes, appendices, and exhibits which take you on a merry chase through the book itself.

So there are layers within layers here. Oh, and the author's sister is a pop star named Poe who put out an album called Haunted, which includes tracks related to the book. In fact, in the first, hardcover edition (which is actually the Second Edition because the First Edition was distributed via the internet) there are characters on the endpapers which, when combined, put into a hex editor, and turned into an AIFF file plays a 2 second clip from one of the tracks on her album.

Yes, it's that kind of book.

What was amazing to me was that we see here a description of a found-footage movie in 2000, the year after Blair Witch came out, but before the spate of them started. Even so, the work that went into this book means it must have been started before Blair Witch, so he's describing a cinematic genre which doesn't really exist yet. If anything, House of Leaves reminds me more of Lake Mungo than, say the Paranormal Activitiy movies.

For some reason (which Danielewski will only say is "cinematic") every time the word house appears in the book, it is in blue print.

I can't recommend this book highly enough. I wished I was reading it concurrently with someone, because I wanted to talk about it as I went through it. It really is quite a journey.

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

LootCrate #2: The Lootening

Before I get to the contents of this month's LootCrate-- oh, yes, I stuck with it-- I have a request.  Remember how part of LootCrate's business strategy is to get all their customers to sell the subscription through blog posts like this one, unboxing videos, and social media?  Remember how I put a link at the bottom of my last LootCrate review so I would get $5 off my next LootCrate, and if I got four people then my LootCrate would be free?

Well, two people told me they subscribed to LootCrate despite my tepid review, and used my link.  So I figured, "$10 LootCrate?  Okay, I'm in."

Then the charge went through and it was still $19 and change.

So I need to send another email to LootCrate to ask them where my discount is for being a good little viral marketer.  In order to do that, I'd like more than hearsay.  If you subscribed to LootCrate via the link at the bottom of my last blog post, could you drop me a line?

The theme this month was "Celebrate," which made me a little wary, but the video had lots of videogame references and drinking, and I like both those things.

First, the obligatory box shot:


Yeah, it's the same box.

First off, they wanted to celebrate Doctor Who's 50th Anniversary.  We went a little crazy over this ourselves, and attended a showing of the special at our local cinema to watch it in 3D.  If only the LootCrate had gotten here in time, I could've brought a TARDIS balloon and sticker with me.  Alas, these must now live in my living room.


The sticker says it's reusable, but I'm a cynical bastard and will place it where I want it to be for all eternity just in case that isn't quite true.  Good stuff, LootCrate.

Next up is an official Batman wallet:


This is made from Tyvek, a wonder paper that is indestructible.  I used to have a little sleeve for my bank card made out of this stuff, and it was pretty hardy.  I am an aficionado of Batman wallets, since my very first wallet was one (and I still have it).  Back in the late sixties, this is what passed for a Batman wallet:



It was plastic, and bright yellow, and has one of those cellophane over black wax pads and a stylus so you could write secret messages to yourself.  Note that this wallet IS NOT included in the LootCrate.

This one is:


I kind of need a new wallet.  The real question is: am I nerdy enough to use this one?  I think I am, but it will come down to whether or not there's room in the wallet for all my stupid cards.  I will try to transfer everything over.  Also, apparently the tyvek looks better with more wear and tear, so I can probably provide that.  Thumbs up, LootCrate.

Next is a set of playing cards with robots on them:


I'm fine with that.  My wife will probably use them, as she's the one who plays solitaire.

Then a "First Person Shooter" which is kind of stretching it on the clever, clever for this:


Yeah, it's a shotglass with crosshairs.  I don't do many shots (I prefer to sip my scotch), but okay.

Then they gave me a scary drink thing that's supposed to be breakfast.  You just drink it and that's breakfast.  I suppose I will try it someday when I'm in a rush.  I think they were going for hangover cure, but it makes no claims to anything but breakfast.


And finally, the big thing-- a South Park character that is also a speaker for your phone, so you can blast the tunes with toons (get it?  Ha!).  I got Kenny:


My favorite thing about this so far is that the headphone jack plugs into Kenny's ass, and the charging LED is his heart.  I can't say how it sounds yet, because it's still charging.  I'm going to leave this in the office so I can listen to podcasts and music from my phone.  I expect it will be better than the speaker on my phone, but not all that much better.

All told, this is what I expected from LootCrate.  Some fun stuff, some clever stuff, and enough of both that it put a smile on my face while I was opening it, and again now that I'm writing this up.  Notice that I didn't even crack the pamphlet that came with it, because I think it would've made me snarky.  Oh, and the MegaLootCrate this month is both an Xbox One and a PS4.  Fingers crossed, but I never win anything.

My original survey of previous LootCrates showed that I would've liked 4 out of 7 of them, so I guess I started badly and this is one of the ones I liked.

Worth the $20, but totally worth the $10 if I can figure out what the hell happened to my discount.

Thumbs up, would do it again.

Oh, and here's the link to (maybe) get me a discount on the next LootCrate:

http://mbsy.co/lootcrate/388888